Sex Advice | Avoid anything that runs a string through your butt crack!

sex-advice-underwear

Hi Prithika,

I’ve wanted to learn to play the guitar for a long time, so I decided to just do it, and signed up for guitar classes. My teacher is a tall handsome Chilean. You know, the type of musician with long black hair, cheeky sparkly eyes, charming (and god does he know it). It only took a couple of classes of him guiding me to hold the chords, before he was, y’know, playing me. And, oh, the shuddering orgasms he’s taught me! I’m paying twenty euros for these classes. And my boyfriend is very encouraging about me learning new things. Ermm… what do I do? – Santanina

Dear Santanina,
Hmmm, this is a little complicated. I’d negotiate a lower rate on your classes if I were you. It’s pretty expensive for a private music class, especially if he isn’t preparing you for an exam. Also, all this distracting you with steamy sex in the music room makes me think he doesn’t really have a syllabus planned. Typical disorganized teacher.

Perhaps ask him for a rough syllabus of exactly what he will be teaching you over the next 3-6 months? It doesn’t need to be too complicated. For each week/class he can just draw up a table in which he lists the date of the class, the chords you’ll be learning, the song, the sexual position, and the musical prop you’ll be using.

And, about the boyfriend, I suppose you need to do all that soul searching stuff. Ask yourself why you’re attracted to the other guy. Hint: it has nothing to do with long black hair and sparkly eyes – it has to do with the disconnect in your relationship. If you’ve got something real with your boyfriend that you don’t want to walk away from, you should probably talk to him.

Good luck and rock on!


Hey Prithika,

I want to start wearing ladies underwear. When I see them in the shops, they look so good – so soft and smooth, and satiny! They look how all clothes should feel. Is this weird? I’m dating a few girls right now and I’m a bit worried that if it gets serious with one of them it might freak her out.  – Panty Freak

Dearest, darling Panty Freak,
Sexy underwear is one of the great pleasures of modern life. I’m not talking about all that nonsense with thongs, crotchless panties, or shitty synthetic lace. Look for French knickers, boy shorts, and bikini cuts. Avoid anything that runs a string through your butt crack! That shit is designed by sadists and worn by masochists. Synthetic is okay, but go for the more satin feel. And if you want to splash out on real satin, or cotton lace, mmmm!

As for the girls…? It’ll be fine. Just never let them borrow your stuff, and never borrow their stuff. Underwear feuds will follow you to the grave. Have fun!

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