Dear Don Jeremy,


I’ve been a fan of yours for a long time. Anyway, I got me an issue. I met this little lady, and when I say little, I mean tiny. She’s 2’ 5’’! It took me a while to get used to it, I admit, but she’s so sweet, and when she works in the kitchen it’s half-Iron Chef, half-trampoline acrobatics. Who needs TV? Things are going great, and that’s where the problem comes in. Last week we got more intimate and well, to cut it short, she gave me a blow job standing up and now when we meet I get so aroused just seeing her cutie head down there I can barely stand it. I caught her looking at the bulge in my pants the other night and smiling, but then it wasn’t so funny when we met her mom (2’ 10”) in the supermarket, who also seemed to notice, maybe a little too much. Is my dick going to fuck this up for me? – Robert


Dear Robert,

Reading your letter sent me back to the basement of my uncle Lu’s trailer. The old projector and that moment, that movie: Tiny Tina’s Tasty Titties.I can only be grateful that I’m not being tempted as you are, given this personal reawakening I’m going through. But last night after your letter I dreamt of the years I spent following circuses across the seven seas, sweeping up elephant droppings, hoping to make fantasy reality. A youth wasted.