Dear Don Jeremy,

Me han dicho que el orgasmo femenino es más intenso que el masculino. Primero, ¿es verdad o no? Segundo, si es verdad, ¿cómo lo comprobaron? Tercero, ¿es posible intensificar el orgasmo masculino para que llegue al nivel del femenino?
Quiero llegar más allá


The female’s sexual experience is superior to the male’s. We know so from Greek mythology.
One day while out for a walk, Tiresias came upon two serpents copulating. He struck the female with his staff, killing her, and was transformed into a woman as a result.

Tiresias was a woman for seven years; she had male lovers and even bore children, until one day when she again stumbled upon two snakes mating. This time she killed the male and turned back into a man.

Tiresias’ experience as a woman allowed Zeus and Hera to resolve their argument over who gets more pleasure from sex: the man, as Hera asserted, or the woman, as claimed by Zeus. When they asked him to judge, Tiresias replied: “Of ten parts a man enjoys one part only.” Hearing this, Hera flew into a rage and blinded Tiresias. Because Zeus could not undo Hera’s curse, he compensated by bestowing the gift of prophecy on Tiresias and extending his life by seven generations- a small consolation for the loss of nine-tenths of his sexual pleasure, if you ask me.

Other forms of evidence include women’s more developed multi-orgasmic ability, occasional confessions that their whole body feels as sensitive as a penis and squirting orgasms whose intensity and volume are enough to make Peter North run and hide. As for your final question, I don’t see how either modern medicine or social engineering can put the male’s orgasm on a par with the female’s. You can try to enhance it by doing Kegel exercises, but don’t try too hard. As you know, life isn’t fair.

Dear Don Jeremy,

I’ve been fucking for years. What’s the new hot shit?
Deerty Deerty

Dear DD,

The year is 2011. Marxism and Christianity are out; Mayan doomsday scenarios are in. Time is not linear, but cyclical. Everything is repeated in a new form, so rather than contrive some perfunctory new perversion, I think you should go back to the basics and stick to vanilla missionary sex until 2013. Trust me: you’ll be better off.