7. Fill a need. Signs of distress can be the light at the end of the tunnel. Necessity is the mother of all relationships. By reminding your desire of possible dangers and by vanquishing monsters, you’ll soon be a mainstay in their schedule.


8. Engage the senses; love is felt. Return with your desire to the physical world through touch, visuals, music and aroma. Initiate sex if possible (see Ass Plan*). If that fails, try cuddling while bathing in lavender-scented chocolate and dancing softly to Yanni.


9. Break the rules. Use action to prove you can think for yourself and are willing to take what you want. People want to explore the dark side and will go deeper if they are led there. This is how Charles Manson and Ayn Rand got laid.


10. Give them the gift of missing you. Christmas is fun because it only happens once a year. If you had to hear about your uncle’s experimental stage in college day after day, you could end up on death row. Less is more if you wanna score.


11. Final tip for men: don’t be such a spineless suck-up. Wear clothing that distinguishes you from eleven-year-olds. And keep it clean- there’s a fat line between musky and scummy, and you keep drifting into swampy.


12. Final tip for women: if your mouth is dry, stop talking.

// Go to Don Jeremy’s seduction tips Part 1
*Ass Plan (aes·plaen): Relationship strategy involving the determined action of one or both parties to create as many opportunities for sexual intercourse as possible, with a long-term goal of establishing a enduring pair bond through positive orgasmic reinforcement.

// send your question to Don Jeremy